He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This baby is an asshole
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
