porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
