So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
