Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
