oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
