we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
