i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
