nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
