Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
