your parents love me but you hate me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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