Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
