Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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