why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
