Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
