Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
