i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
