Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
