dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
