he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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