I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize