I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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