What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
