It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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