The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
