Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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