So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
