All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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