Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
