whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Buhtt sex?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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