i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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