ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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