I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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