you have to choose: penises or morals?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
