Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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