Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize