Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
