Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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