You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
