oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
