If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
