We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize