I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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