He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
