Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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