Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
