i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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