I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
