My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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