I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
