and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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