then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
