There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
