I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize