Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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