Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize