rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
