I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
