i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
