clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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