you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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