bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
