Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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