There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
