For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
