Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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