Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
