At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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