Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
