That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
