Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
