i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Enjoy the penises
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
